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In an ever-complicating world, friendships are not easy. Remember what it was like to just sit down and talk about life? From sports to politics, movies, music, and business—and then, most likely, back to sports—we try to simplify all things past, present, and future through the art of argument and discussion. So, no matter how complex the issue may be, remember this: There are... No Instructions Needed.
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Saltburn & Graves
Ever been stuck at a bustling European train station, red wine in hand, as you despair over the modern travesty of ticket scalping? We've all had those travel woes, but ours took a hilarious twist as the big D unpacked his adventure—or misadventure—in Barcelona, complete with a Champions League game that went up in smoke thanks to resellers. This episode isn't just a recount of travel escapades; it's a raucous ride through the underbelly of ticketing, the allure of Kuub bars, and our own escapades with football strategy. From NFL offseason analysis to the Bears' and Steelers' dramatic shifts, we're serving up unfiltered thoughts on the coaching carousel that's got everyone talking.
Have you ever wondered about the actors who convince us they're someone else entirely, or pondered the 'what-ifs' of sports history that never happened? Buckle up as we get amped about the potential return of "Blue Mountain State" and the enigmatic charm of characters like Thad Castle. We speculate on how alternate realities—like Kobe Bryant in a Bulls jersey—might have rewritten sports legacies. Then, we slice into the provocative film "Salt Burn," where grave scenes and genre-blending madness meet the music charts. It's a mash-up of Hollywood's most memorable scenes and a dose of candid movie critique that'll leave cinephiles hungry for more.
To cap it all off, we're breaking the mold with a candid chat about a topic that rarely makes the dinner table conversation: the startling reality of sexual health in nursing homes. It's a blend of humor and heartfelt reflection, as we grapple with the image of sprightly seniors navigating the complexities of love in their golden years. From the vibrant streets of Barcelona to the nostalgic potential of a TV show making its comeback, this episode isn't pulling any punches. Tune in, pour yourself a glass of whatever gets you going, and join us for a conversation that's as diverse as it is delightfully unexpected.
Hmm, what are we going to talk about today? This is going to be a problem. Julian's not here to give us some topics.
Speaker 2:We're going to talk about some. Yeah, he's the one with the topics.
Speaker 1:Okay, no instructions needed. I don't really feel like giving.
Speaker 2:Cut the poop Like your wiener.
Speaker 3:Oh, let me just get that right in the old camera shot.
Speaker 1:That's my thought. I'm sipping on some red wine. Primary use for Bitcoin is to get more money. Oh man, the Kuub bar, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm into that. Hello, now this fucking ball hardly like. I cannot start this at ease, and can I risk it? That's how I go to the bathroom. I'm going to fit the tent.
Speaker 3:This is exactly how there is work running here, whatever it is, oh god.
Speaker 2:What it do, baby. What is up? No instructions needed, listeners.
Speaker 1:This is dapsey, papsy, wapsy what. I'm here with the big D. We are expecting a little J-O in here later, but you know, the J-O might be J-O and we're not too sure, but he might, he might join us later. Anyways, how's the big D doing down in Vancouver? I'm not sure, I'm not sure. I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure. Well, no problem. Vancouver.
Speaker 2:Good Good, you know we had this episode a few weeks ago. Everyone thought we were back and we were, but then I decided to take a trip to Europe for a few weeks here. A bit of a delay on the comeback trail, but I am back now and should be more consistent moving forward. Yeah, I'm jet-lagged to shit. I'm sleepy as shit, but we're going to bust down an episode tonight and then— Bust for sure.
Speaker 2:And then I'm gonna go to bed, probably. So it's about 7, 15 be bed by 8, 30. Maybe, who knows? But Glad to be back, glad to see your pretty face, chaps. And what is it that you want to talk about this morning? Oh, there's Julian.
Speaker 1:Hello, I'll have big. Oh, we just did all the introductions, so you might as well get ready to explain how fast you j-owned.
Speaker 3:So that's all good, just it was quick, it was messy, but we're all cleaned up now and happy to see you boys dinner. You look nice and refreshed from your trip. How did everything go, my friend?
Speaker 2:That was good, man, it's good. Just, it wasn't like a party trip. It was pretty chill, drink a lot still. I found a way to drink a lot still. So, yeah, I got some quality time in with my brother, who I don't see very often because he lives in Europe, and Met his girlfriend for the first time and saw some cool shit in Barcelona. Oh, you'll never get this. We bought tickets to the Barcelona Champions League game like Five days before the game, got pretty good seats at a decent price, and then the reseller was like we'll send you their tickets 24 hours before, and 24 hours before I got an email saying we canceled your tickets and and then by the time we tried to buy new ones, they were way more expensive for way shittier seats, and so we watched the game on TV and guess what? It was a pretty effing awesome game. So I was pretty pissed off because I was really excited, I was gonna be like the highlight for me and I didn't even go. Didn't even go fucking bullshit.
Speaker 1:That's bullshit because all they're doing is like, oh my god, we can get more money, like that's all that happened there.
Speaker 2:That's fucking sure hundred percent and the and the site gave us like a credit for like 28 euro for this like European ticket site. I'm like when are we gonna use this again? Never, and then to get the refund on the money, we had to give up the credit so and it was a wash at the end of the day. So it was ridiculous. I was pissed All right, let's go.
Speaker 1:This fucking site. What was the site? What was the fucking site?
Speaker 2:seat Seat. I don't remember. See geek, no geek. Yeah, it was something like European seat site. But yeah, I was right, european trash fucking seat site.
Speaker 1:Bullshit. You guys are motherfuckers. That's ridiculous. I what we lost the. The art of a deal in the world, you know what? Like the art of a handshake. People go back on the word more than fucking Bill Clinton during press conferences in the 90s Like like this is fucking bullshit. God, I'm pissed off for you. Big V, I'm pissed off for you.
Speaker 3:That's a tax. Perhaps Chaps attacks I just don't get it.
Speaker 1:Why is the door keeps a word anymore, like you can shake a motherfucker's hand for 10 bucks about whatever I'm buying. This hat 10 bucks oh, I found it for a dollar more. It's like motherfuckers shook my head like the world sucks nowadays and Euro trash web fucking sites that that sell tickets are the prime example of that Euro trash.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I was ridiculous man. And then all the sites was like aren't they seems like 200 bucks Canadian, let's say, per seat? And then like this, like and it was lower bowl, like kind of in the corner, and then there was like 200 euros for like top bowl, like nosebleeds. I'm like, oh, we're not gonna pay that an extra hundred Canadian to see Shittier game and stuff like that. So yeah, and the and the seat seat, whatever site, had like a $40 fee on it too for every ticket. So yeah, it was weak, it was weakest shit, but overall good time, overall good time. You know, it wasn't didn't get my tan on per se, but oh Well, summers coming.
Speaker 3:Speaking of summer coming, chaps is just in full, on just a cross between edge and Stone Cold, steve Austin right now with his swagger on this. I really wish it like we put up more videos for the pod, which maybe we'll start get back you know into when, when we start rolling these out on a more frequent basis. But I will say, chaps, you're looking good, I'm sure you're feeling good. What is the secret right now? What is the secret sauce for chaps that allows you to just embody the peak male performance?
Speaker 1:You know. So everyone asks me like how I feel I've lost 40 pounds, kept it off for 35, whatever it is, kept it off for the year. Now I Feel I feel the exact same. We did it a year ago, no different, maybe sexy times a little bit better, because it's not so much flub running around my way. So that's, that's a good, you know, it's a good thing. You know I'm not crushing for you. Misses. The hot love handles, though something to grab on to yeah, she misses the handles a bit.
Speaker 1:There's still some handles there. Let's not act like I'm like skinny as shit out my way. Sexer, there was a year ago, obviously, but that's bear, you can bear like that was a tough thing to top and I did it, so I mean yeah you know.
Speaker 1:No, the secret is just don't eat after seven. That's like the actual secret to not getting fat. Just don't eat after seven. You're good if you don't eat After seven and try to wait till like 10 minimum every day other than a weekend. You know you're good and I've been. I was a bad boy in Alabama last week, not gonna lie. The oyster houses got me in Mobile, but but you know it's all good. Gained a pound maybe, so I'll get no more zinning either. I quit the Zen. Wow, oh no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I gained like eight pounds because I had, like I probably average, six beers a day. Four, three weeks.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I went in.
Speaker 3:Germany. You know when in Germany you know, do it. Except for like war time. Don't do that. Yeah, there's other, the 40s.
Speaker 1:Do what they do. Okay, let's keep the 40s out of it, but do what they do, like you know after the, you know in the 50s.
Speaker 2:Well, in Spain I found a little tapas spot that served. The coldestest drill is on on that side of the Mississippi, so you know, you know I was a frequenter there. They're icy cold and I was, you know, mid-afternoon. I said what am I gonna do right now? Go get a beer as well, you have to, why not? Why not, I mean?
Speaker 1:right name a fool that one right like I mean, like you have to do it.
Speaker 2:You do now. Now I got to compete with chap, so I'm back. I'm on the health kick and We'll see what happens.
Speaker 3:Boys, let's not pussyfoot around this topic. I want to acknowledge chaps real quick and then we'll keep it moving. Chaps, you got, you finally got a Super Bowl winner. Congratulations, and I didn't forget about this. But I can't transition into what I want to talk about until we acknowledge the fact that you beat both Dean and I. Congratulations. How does it feel to finally get one under your belt?
Speaker 1:Honestly, this is the only one I care about winning, because I hate services go so much and I had so much money. Better than this game Play now is website crash to a little bit. So I was like trying to put 500 bucks on can see it half time and it wouldn't. It wouldn't, let me do it. I would have won probably like five grand by the time that game was done. But anyway, it doesn't matter. It was good. I'm happy, a more happy that you Kansas City one. I hate Kansas City two. But let's be honest, the Super Bowl was excellent. I can't say it wasn't great.
Speaker 1:Kyle Shan hands the most overrated head coach in NFL right now. I mean like I was drunk as shit and I looked at my buddy seven six when when mr Shannon dink head was like hey, I'm gonna take the ball, it's like what the fuck? I looked down was like did he say they're receiving? Like what the fuck are you thinking? Like it did that part made no sense. You know he's he's. He's the Kendall of the NFL from succession. Like that's what he is. He's always gonna fail in the boardroom and Everyone trying to bear him to Andy Reed. Before Andy Reed won some Super Bowls and he didn't have these failures in the Super Bowl. So I you know what I'm happy the season's over a bit. It was a train wreck of a season, I think. I think it was kind of one of the worst NFL seasons in a long, long time. But that was good. I can't wait to get you guys like what is I gotta get you guys the bomb hot sauce, right? How does that?
Speaker 3:It's supposed to get us the chip. You know that, like spicy chip, and we're supposed to, I can do that too.
Speaker 1:It's just funny how I won the bet.
Speaker 3:You, you, you put it out there, my friend, you, you put it out there. But I mean, we can't talk about what's going on now without acknowledging the fact that, like, the season is over, but what a few couple days into free agency it has it been. I mean, teams look completely different. Dean's team almost unrecognizable at this point. The Chicago Bears finally made a trade. Today, as we record this, they finally got out of the Justin Fields sweepstakes. Pittsburgh took their starter, brought in two different guys now, which I have no idea how that's gonna work in the AFC North. What do you think have been the biggest storyline of this offseason going into next year, and what's the biggest turnaround for the team and which you cheer for?
Speaker 2:I Can. I can start this. I think the biggest low key, like free agent winner, and it's not really low key, but it's not like they don't have the quarterback, so it's not like a sexy. But Houston, houston's gonna be damn good and they, they revamped or they got Joe mixon and and they resigned Dalty Schulten. They got a bunch of defensive players. I don't remember who they got, but I just remember they got a bunch of good players and or the, the linebacker I forget his name, but he's really good. So Houston has already a weapon and now they're even better. So I think they're gonna be a Dangerous next year. And in terms of my team, the Los Angeles Chargers, we used to have two Pro Bowl. Pro Bowl ish, if you. Mike Williams Receivers traded Kenan Allen, got rid of Mike Williams. They were severely over the cap. I think they were like 25 million over the cap, kept both that kept Mac restructured contracts, but goddamn, who are they gonna throw the ball to? And they lost Echler, yeah, that's a huge one right, they got the Gus bus.
Speaker 2:It is a stacked free agent club art, not free agent, a draft class and they do have a high pick, so maybe they'll get a Receiver. I was hoping they were gonna get Brock Bowers out of Georgia but they signed disleaks, which you know. He's okay. I guess the tight end from Seattle chaps this team. But yeah, their offense might be anemic because their offensive line already wasn't that great and they don't have anybody to throw the ball to. So I don't know if they have anything up their sleeves, but I sure as hell hope they do, or else it might be a dismal season.
Speaker 1:I feel like your offense on your on the Chargers is like the Seahawks defense that's going through this offseason because the Seahawks defense, you know, lost Bobby Wagner, lost Jordan Brooks, lost Jamal Adams. Well, that lost cut Jamal Adams cut quandary digs, so like it's kind of like the exact opposite for the Seahawks. It'll be interesting. I'll look. Honestly, this sounds so stupid and I know I'm gonna sound like an idiot, which is 95% of this show but it's so weird to me that they didn't sign Patrick Queen and everyone's like oh, why is that weird? Even the people that don't know about football. We're just fast-forwarding through this part, anyways, is because Patrick Queen and Stone were two Ravens players and they didn't want to sign with the defensive coordinator in Seattle. That really, really worries me. That's like Josh McDaniels Esk. So I'm a little bit worried about the Seahawks head coaching situation. I hope I'm wrong. I don't know the dudes younger than me on 35 Like, or maybe it's the same age there, so I'm like 37 or something like like this big. I'm scared.
Speaker 1:I'm scared of the Seahawks season and the most dramatic changes in the team. You know, dolphins went through a lot of shit. The Patriots obviously just like, just front office. I mean like like that's probably the biggest change in the whole entire thing. Right, the Chargers too, but I think, if I'm right now, I think the Patriots probably have the most change in their team this year. I think that that's the team I'd be the most worried about going in next year. I don't think like not against the head coach or anything, I just don't think it'd be that good. We're just fine, let's suck for a couple years to go. We get good again. But yeah, that's kind of come, I'd say. I've been more the movies lately, so that's, that's the truth. I've watched like all the Oscar-nominated movies. I haven't really paid much attention to the football.
Speaker 3:So, chaps, I'll just piggyback on that. Obviously, my team, the Patriots, not the greatest I mean addition by subtraction from the quarterback position not wasn't sad to see Mac Jones go but this team is definitely going to be just a regular NFL team that they have not experienced over the last 25 years, so this will definitely be sort of like a new era. This is the first like truly post Bill Belichick era, and I think there's going to be a lot of moving parts. Can they get on the right track a year after losing Belichick and a few years after losing Tom Brady? There's a chance, and I say that because they have an opportunity to draft a quarterback that could potentially be the guy that sets them up for the future.
Speaker 3:We all know now, though, it takes more than a quarterback in order to be successful. Looking at Dean's team, for instance Kenan Allen, mike Williams, austin Eckler, khalil Mac, joey Bosa like they had a San Diego junior, like they had dogs on their team, and still you need more in order to make it to that next level. So the Patriots can be a run of the mill team for the next few years, but it starts with, I believe, this draft, and they have an opportunity to go get a quarterback. They don't have Bill Belichick. That's going to be like, oh, you know what. We're just going to trade down for like seven picks in like the second and third round and just hope that they sort of pan out. I think they're going to try to make this work, get a quarterback and they got like a bunch of money that they could try to spend over the next few off seasons. I think they just re-signed what's his name? Hunter Henry, I believe.
Speaker 3:They've re-signed a wide receiver. I think Kevin Bourne is who it was. So I mean they've got some pieces. They're obviously the basement of the AFC East, but I don't think the future is too dull for them. I think that there's an opportunity in the next five years where they could be a playoff team, but that's, that's as far as I will go Now, as far as, like the story for the for the off season, make call me recency bias, but God damn, the the chief should not have won the Super Bowl the last two years. I mean, according to everybody, with the way their team looked, the way that you know, they dominated previous to this and they still found a way. So if anyone was going to get Patrick Mahomes and this Kansas City Chiefs team, it was the last two seasons, the fact that they still went out in one and then signed arguably the biggest defensive free agent or potential free agent on a very team friendly sort of deal.
Speaker 3:You had to give him a hundred million and guarantees over a couple of years, but he's a huge part of that team and then to go out and get a true top receiver in Marquis Brown, I think when when okay, when, when you, when you look at the talent that Mahomes had over the last two seasons we'll call it after losing Tyree kill and the fact that he's still one with those guys and now you have a guy who, legitimately, is better than anyone that they've had on the roster outside of Travis Kelsey for the last three years.
Speaker 1:Fair, but let's, but, let's calm down. Called Hollywood Brown a fucking number one. Receiver. I go like they go get Mike Williams Now. But all right, like now, now we're, now we're in trouble again. I'm not saying, we're not.
Speaker 2:We're poking with gasoline.
Speaker 3:Eight, eight, week eight of next season. I guarantee you that Marquis Brown will be a top 10 receiver in the NFL. And that's just the Patrick Mahomes effect, because you still got Pacheco, you still got Kelsey, you got rice, who's going into year two, who had like a pretty, like decent rookie season with other going to be good again next year.
Speaker 1:It's annoying. I'm sick of fucking the page. I seem talking to him page. I'm so sick of it because they're just going to be like like. It's just like, like yeah, like who fucking cares? We know the next 20 years going to suck. I get it, you know, let's well, our teams maybe get one Super Bowl in those 20 years where he went through this shit. Like fucking know what, like fuck off with this fucking goddamn, fucking, fuck God damn she's pissed me off.
Speaker 2:I'm fired up tonight.
Speaker 1:I am. I watched salt burn the like last weekend. I don't know if you guys have seen that or not, but just I would be careful, watch now. I can't, and it's crazy to see a shoot. Probably just not be like you know, it's like you know. The Dave's. Het in Ysler tonight.
Speaker 3:I can't tell you how you. I can't tell you about it. I want to ask you two guys. Maybe chaps is a little bit different, because I mean his team had success. But, dean, this is a new position for me to be in, where my team is not in the conversation of being good after being so dominant. Is this what it feels like to have been facing the Patriots over the last like 20 years? Just the frustration that, like year after year, no matter who they lose, they find a way to be there, they find a way to win, and no matter what you do, you just no one can stop them when they need to, except for the giants and maybe the Eagles. Is this what it feels like? Yes, this is kind of how I feel with the chiefs right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it sucks, man, it's not, especially when you're in the same division as them. Like it sucks. And and even in the games were like the Chargers in the last couple years were like, oh man, they're gonna be, they're gonna be the chiefs, they're winning. And I think they did once, maybe last year, the year before. But then it's like they'll score three touchdowns in a quarter and like, and we were up 14 and now we're down seven and cool cheers, like it sucks.
Speaker 2:And I, I so like the chiefs I'll say that straight up before Patrick mom's Alex Smith days but now I fucking hate them so, so much, so so much. And and I'm always underdog kind of guy, right, so I'm always going to go for the underdog. But the teams that win it every single year and Kudos to them on building a team that can do that but go away. No one wants to see you someone in one, four years in a row. It doesn't make it fun. That's why when the Raptors won, best year ever, best year ever so who do you think hates the chiefs more?
Speaker 3:Is it a team that's in their division that is just fed up with seeing them win year after year? Or is it a team like the Buffalo Bills that like no matter how much momentum they get, when it comes to the big game they just find a way to lose?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd say it's the bills, probably because they're always like the, you know, one a1b with the chiefs in the AFC every year and then they play on the playoffs and one year they got absolutely screwed and then last year they just got straight up beat, or this year. I should say so, yeah, I'd say it's like the bills that, like you know, you think you're gonna take that next step and you got a like a killer fan base that like will Support you no matter what and you just keep letting them down. You keep letting them down right. So I'd say it's more like the top contenders.
Speaker 3:True Chaps, you talked about movies.
Speaker 1:No, I wasn't. That was Twitter. I'm working on getting a guest on the show right now. It's just, we're just anyway. Continue with the conversation. Go ahead, ask me listening.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna change it up. I'm gonna change it up a bit in terms of football. It's all on the topic of football, but it is rumored that are probably our collective favorite show as a group. Blue Mountain State is coming back with Alan Richardson, who I saw in Toronto Coming back. Is that castle and, I'm assuming, a few other members of the band coming back? And If that, if that is true I don't know if it's confirmed or not, but that would be effing awesome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Miranda's back his buddy.
Speaker 1:I read that, by the way like six, to just like you hear that. Like that's my cock on the table I was sitting on Like just be on exciting. Now it's gonna suck probably, but that's okay because it's gonna be fucking awesome.
Speaker 3:I mean I love that. It's gonna suck but that's fucking awesome. Two things in the same sentence. Love it because it makes total sense, because if you look back at it, the show wasn't great, the football wasn't great, like the antics weren't great, but it was entertaining as all hell.
Speaker 3:And I think now when Alan Richardson played that castle he was a big, super yoke guy. Can you imagine him on his TRT now, like after filming season three of a Reacher? And Just how big of a bad like? Okay, let's be honest, if you watch it Reacher at all, you see glimpses of that castle in the show, his behavior, the way he answers questions, the way he talks. There's a little bit of that in him that I think will always follow him. But Alan Richardson just an amazing beauty of a man I think can come back and save Comedy in an era where it's so hard to Be funny because you're worried about who's gonna get offended. If they can come back and sort of capture a little bit of what Blue Mountain State was previously man, they could be a super, super successful show.
Speaker 1:I. I don't know if there's anyone more different from their real-life person than Alan Richardson. I mean, that guy's the Jesus fearing band like, or cat. He's our Catholic or Jesus, it's one of the two or that's the same thing. I don't know much about religion but he's our Catholic or Christian and he's very, very super religious on this on the show. And then you go to that castle where he's puncturing holes and columns to make sure the fucking shit Like that, literally like that Actually quotes Proverbs, and then these fast-forwarded episode and he's shoved the cookie up his ass Like this is all real fucking things and then eats it, eats it and eats it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you gotta get the chocolate sauce.
Speaker 1:But like it's it's you know it's fucked up, man. Like it is, it's it is fucked up, but you know it's gonna be awesome. I can't wait for it and I will pay. If they told me how to pay a hundred dollars to watch it, I probably would like truthfully like that's how excited I am to watch it.
Speaker 3:So you said you brought up a great thing a character who plays like in real life versus a character to play. So Alan Richardson, definitely one of them. What about NPH? And Barney Stinson? Like, we're talking, not like super religious, but we're talking, obviously, but we're talking definitely like two very distinctly different.
Speaker 1:He's getting real life and he's a pussy Hounded on the show like you could like, like, like he's musical and all that shit. Like in real life, like awesome dude, and then, like on the show, is this whiskey, bourbon drink and fucking Cousel. Like, yeah, you could not get more different than those two. Like you just could. That's great, that's a great example. I'm really. More different you can get is Neil Patrick Harris in real life and Neil Patrick Harrison, harold Kumar, like that's the.
Speaker 3:So Neil Patrick Harris might be on the route. Much rush more twice with two different characters.
Speaker 1:Fuck it if we're said, if he's God and everyone else is like, and then fucking Barney Stinson is Jesus and then everyone else is underneath them like that's. If we're gonna put this now Richard term like that's what up? That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:Do we, do we have a another person that we can think of that?
Speaker 1:James Gattel. Okay, explain, I mean, well, he's in the show, now he's dead. No, I'm joking, um, no, but I Love James, I love Jay, like my favorite character of all time. Yeah, I think what, like he wasn't in the mafia for one right, like that's a pretty big, pretty big thing. And then, to you know, by all accords, he's like the nicest human of all time and obviously in, like this is probably was he is. I just rewatched it. He is not a nice, not nice man. Clearly and I'm not retracting my joke, it's been a long time. Everyone needs calm down, we're loud and he would not.
Speaker 3:We're not killing and he would laugh at that Sure, or he'd have you killed. I'm thinking what chap chaps attacks Dean's face was wincy when I did that. At least you're killing people that are already dead, like famously. I did this with Bob Barker, who now is officially dead. Before he was very much alive Well, I would say very much, but he was alive. I mean you survived COVID. I mean you're pretty much alive, if you can survive COVID at that age 97 years old.
Speaker 1:I mean, god bless you, but it's not like you're fucking walking two miles a day.
Speaker 3:You know he was gonna make an appearance in happy Gilmore to like. You know that they were gonna try to you Just somehow, pretty, you didn't. Yeah, they're. They're making a happy Gilmore to you, didn't? You didn't know? It's a thing, it's a whole, it's a whole thing. But yeah, okay, it's interesting. So I was, I was reading this thing on on on Twitter earlier and it's like what is the greatest sort of sliding doors moment, or sliding doors here is when it comes to Like athletes, and so the sliding doors theory is that there's a moment in time where, if you could change how something happened, what would the effect have on the future? So the one that I famously go back to is what if the Lakers traded Kobe Bryant when he asked for trade? Now this is after Shaq has already been dealt to Miami. He comes back. Team is not functioning, they're not doing very much. He asked to be traded and the rumor was that he was gonna get traded to the Chicago Bulls.
Speaker 3:Yeah and like the trade package was like kind of garbage at that point, like based on, like what we know now. But in that moment, if, if Kobe Bryant gets traded to Chicago, do we still or do people still have the same love For him that created like the mom of mentality and looked at Kobe as like the next guy who stayed loyal, who Sort of ascended basketball in terms of and a bunch of people's top ten of all time, arguably one below Michael Jordan? Do we still get the Kobe? No, I mean from the shooting guard position.
Speaker 1:Those are usually Shooting, yeah, yeah, yeah, not like greatest of all time. I don't think Kobe is no. No, I mean.
Speaker 3:But when we, but when? Here's the thing when we talk about greatness, we talk about Michael Jordan. When we talk about love for the game and the mentality towards the game, there are very few that get mentioned, like Tom Brady's one, sorry, as far as dedication to the game, his body, how he takes care of himself, how much he loves the game. Kobe Bryant's another one. I'm sure there's some hot, you know, gresky is probably another guy that they talk about in terms of hockey. But like, do we still? Do we think that that still happens? Do we think that Kobe just kind of becomes a guy and he's not like the same accolades that we sort of look at him? Now? Go ahead, chaps, rip me Well, just when you said sliding glass door.
Speaker 1:All I thought of was Ace Ventura.
Speaker 3:I thought that's where we're going with this conversation.
Speaker 1:That's right. So I was like, oh, we're going to go like what's the best sliding glass door in a movie? And the first thing I thought of Ace Ventura. But I mean, I don't, I'm not Kobe guy, he didn't pass enough, he's just a volume shooter. Listen, he was great for his time and he fit that mold. And would he be great today? Of course he would, because you'd find a way to be great today. That's the dumbest arguments, like saying if Gretzky, would Gretzky be great today? Well, if you say, well, no, we wouldn't look at how he played, it's like okay, but he was driven enough to figure it out in this area, in this era, like there's just like really athletes do. But I mean the Chris Paul trade to me is, if you're on NBA, I mean that's a pretty fucking crazy one, cause the Chris Paul gets traded to the Lakers. That changes a lot of shit.
Speaker 3:On that note, chaps. Do you know Michael Jordan? Do you know why the Chris Paul trade did not go through?
Speaker 1:Cause David Stern was drunk on the Thursday.
Speaker 3:So a lot of it so the rumor was that, david Stern?
Speaker 3:cause they owned the New Orleans Pelicans at the time, or New Orleans whatever and at the time they needed to make sure that the league was like stable and all this kind of stuff. So the rumor was that, like they nixed the trade. Jeannie Bus recently just came out and said the reason that the trade got denied was the trade was announced during a board of governors meeting which had all of the owners at the table and they were not allowed to be discussing transactions on teams while the meetings were going on. There was like a frozen period. But at the meeting there was the general manager from the Los Angeles Lakers which I can't remember at the time who it was, and the not even the general manager, but like a player personnel guy for the New Orleans Pelicans, which was owned by the NBA at the time, came up with this trade and agreed on it. But the whole thing was that no one was supposed to be talking. It was announced sort of through the rumor mill at the league meeting and that's when David Stern said this ain't happening. This is unfair. If people are negotiating right now, everyone who should be negotiating is actually at this table. What's going to happen is we're going to allow everyone the opportunity and we're not going to allow the trade to happen.
Speaker 3:And that's why the Chris Paul to the Clippers happens is because they jumped in and they just had way more assets to be able to give up. And that's why he doesn't end up going to the Los Angeles Lakers, which I think is interesting. I think that team would have been nasty if Chris Paul was with Kobe Bryant at the time. But Chris Paul also just hasn't been able to elevate other guys around him on the teams that he's been on, so it could have been a disaster as well, but I like it. I like the sliding doors moment that you just referenced Chaps. Oh boy, dean, do you got one?
Speaker 2:I do not have one, but I will touch on the Kobe Bryant. I think he would still be held in extremely high regard like elite regard, in terms of how his career would have ended. Work ethic, all that good stuff. Do I think it would have been the same? No, I think the fact that he stuck with one team his whole career kind of put him into that stratosphere of legendary. We're not going to know what would have happened, but I think he still would have been obviously Hall of Famer, one of the greatest players of all time, top 10, whatever you want to say. But I think that the fact that he stayed with one team over his career just kind of vaulted him into that kind of Michael Jordan territory of you know and you know well. Not count the Wizards, obviously, because that was just a money play.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I think it would he still put up numbers on the Wizards, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know, but it was. He owned the team, so he wanted to make some do-re-me. Probably has some kind of under the table deal or something like that, I'm assuming. But yeah, that's kind of what I think it is kind of. I wouldn't say his resume would be tarnished, it just would be different and not as elite.
Speaker 3:Can you imagine, like a young Derek Rose and Kobe Bryant playing together?
Speaker 2:That'd be tight, yeah, but yeah, it's just like it doesn't happen anymore. Like teams don't play. Like I watched a video to that Kirk Cousins was like I want to retire as part of Washington, I want to retire as a Viking, and then he was like I want to retire in Atlanta. Like people just don't stay on the same team. Like the business aspect of professional sports has taken over, right, with the salary cap and all the money that's involved and stuff like that. Like people have to move right. And there's sports like the NBA where the players have so much power that could say I want to play with this guy and I will only play with this guy and the rest and the team's like okay, so it's loyalty is a diminishing thing from both sides and with all the money involved, it just doesn't happen anymore.
Speaker 3:And French guys is just aren't loyal to the players either.
Speaker 3:I mean, look at the two, perfect examples most recently Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady, two guys who you would have thought would have just stuck it out with those franchises and when they were done they would have retired. And so, like Mahomes is going to be the next guy right Cause he's probably the only guy I mean Josh Allen both out the success Herbert hasn't been successful, but those guys I could see staying with their franchises. But Patrick Mahomes is probably the next greatest QB. But there's got to be a line Like is it Andy Reed retiring? Is it Travis Kelsey retiring? Is it that they're ready to move on from this like huge contract that they have? He's in his forties and he still feels like he's got, you know, something left in the tank.
Speaker 3:Patrick Mahomes might be the next guy who you think is going to retire as a chief but ends up going and I don't know, playing in an AFC West rival team, like, let's say, the Chargers, or going to the NFC somewhere and playing, because he still feels like he's got it. It's there's after what I just saw with Pittsburgh. And not to say that Kenny Pickett is a guy, but to say like, hey, you were our starter and we're bringing in two other starters from other teams and we're trading you away. Listen, NFL is a business. All sports are a business. I just think it's hella fun. But don't come to me crying that we're going to have a lockout or a strike because there's not enough money, based on what just happened in the first week of free agency, because that shit is crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there are several. There are several monies.
Speaker 3:Lots of mula which send to Canada. I could always use some.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too. Me too, brother. All right, let's talk about something non sports related. Who's got something?
Speaker 1:That's not sports. No, I don't. I'm listen. I've been fucking drinking some tequila While this was all going on. I just might open up this Jack Daniels, I think it's honey. You guys remember Jack Daniels honey? Yeah, yeah, I think it's gonna be pre-gross. I might just stop drinking in general. No, I mean the Oscars happened. That was kind of crazy. Oppenheimer obviously swept. But I want to go back to salt burn. Have you guys seen salt burn? Have you heard of this movie? I've heard of it.
Speaker 2:I've never seen it.
Speaker 3:I've heard about the grave scene and that's all I needed to know that I'm never gonna watch that movie Grave scene, good scene, good scene.
Speaker 1:So this show is quite something to watch. I think you should watch it just because it's fucking insane. It's about a young lad who is poor and he befriends a rich dude and he goes to live with them for the summer. And when I say this movie is like three different movies, it's three different movies. It's like a young guy trying to fit in and then all of a sudden it is the most sexual fucking thing you'll ever see, without actually seeing that much sexual stuff but actually seeing a shit ton of sexual stuff. And I know that doesn't make any sense. But if you've seen the movie, you completely understand what the fuck I'm saying. Starts with a bath, Like there's a lot that happens and I think you guys should do some homework and get yourself a salt burn. And let's talk about the pool for this movie, because it is fucking fantastic.
Speaker 2:Well, that movie, the song Murder on the Dance Floor, it was recorded in 2001. And I think it was a pretty big hit in the UK, but it never really made its mark in North America, or the States, if you want. And now that movies come out, it's one of the most popular songs in the world right now and it was recorded over 20 years ago.
Speaker 3:Isn't that the same thing that happened with Stranger Things? There was that old song that then was played, and then it was huge. It was huge all over the internet for the whole season and it was recorded again 10, 15 years prior.
Speaker 2:No, that was like the 80s, that song, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 3:No, yeah, like 80s early 80s, a huge renaissance of the song, coming back and getting that stream and money now.
Speaker 1:Oh, so much stream. It was the number one stream song in the world. There for a bit from Stranger Things, yeah.
Speaker 2:But I don't know what song you guys are talking about. Yeah, you do.
Speaker 1:We're一简直. No, no, no, that that part I know. And, yes, guardians of the galaxy Novel, but when you watch saltburn, everything else leaves your mind because of the scene.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I heard an ear just entranced.
Speaker 1:You are don't like you are fully entranced that movie because it, because it's kind of actually boring a little bit until this, until the first, like sexy sex. Think what's not sexy. The first sex thing Sexy, okay, but I will say there's no peer poop, so it's nothing like that. I will say that, but it's. There's a lot that happens like very, very, very. I Would consider grotesque one of them for sure, Drain and yeah you gotta watch it. No, you gotta watch it, you gotta watch it. It's good man. I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know I think it's actually really good. I think it's a very, very good movie but like yours, it's intense, like you get, it's boring. And then all sudden it's very, not boring and very fucking weird, like just in a quarter of a second. So I would give saltburn a solid seven and a half out of ten, like I is, it is a fucking good movie. I'll give American fiction, which was nominated for best picture, like an eight and a half out of ten. That movies phenomenal. That movies actually One of the funniest things I've ever watched my life, just because it's the state of the world right now. It's very, very good. No, it's good, it's oftenheimer, but it's, uh, it's a very good movie. But saltburn, my money, very, very watch it. So how was how?
Speaker 3:was Barry, how was?
Speaker 1:Barry in it In saltburn. Yeah, who's Barry the main guy?
Speaker 2:young, the young, the Joker guy.
Speaker 1:How is he young? I can't believe you think it on the Oscar like, honestly, I got my. Truthfully can't believe that it it's cuz it's so gross, like that's why like, but again, you're not gonna puke watching this thing.
Speaker 3:So I don't want to say that either well, the Oscars were like scared of showing the clip as he's nominated and it's like the drain scene or the great scene they're like. Nah, we can't do this.
Speaker 1:Just like you see a full windmill, this we're just gonna hammer on him. Yeah, as a hammer get confirmed. The Joker has a fucking hammer like full-on Jesus.
Speaker 2:Christ.
Speaker 1:This isn't the only sound that that thing makes, but it's what I'm making right now. It's just is unbelievable.
Speaker 3:It's also confirmed no prosthetic use in the filming of saltburn.
Speaker 1:So again, shout out, even crazy that guy's walking around with that thing. Are you fucking kidding me Like?
Speaker 3:just third, just a third leg, just the good old kickstand. I see no old kickstand.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that was possible. Like I mean, usually you have a good size weiner too.
Speaker 2:Don't worry, I Know how to use my weiner.
Speaker 1:I think that's the best way to like.
Speaker 3:Use it well at least three times. We can confirm.
Speaker 1:I Three times on record on the time say with you three times on record we're still. We don't know about the big D he could, they might just be all fake and everything. But three times on record.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I mean Dean might be one of those things like that Starbucks movie, whatever with Vince Vaughn, where he's got like 28 kids that just all of a sudden comes out of nowhere.
Speaker 1:That's like 28 kits. Yeah, he was like a.
Speaker 3:Exactly and then like no, it's, his information gets leaked. He's got like 40 kids or whatever and they all track him down. There's nicknames like Starbucks or something. Yeah, good sounds.
Speaker 1:Oh it's hot oh it's fun. What's he doing these days? You think?
Speaker 3:fuck all. Was it a? You know he wasn't in the Fargo, or true detective, did you have true? To do in true detective season and you watch the new season true detective isn't that the one with like the mysterious ways and like the Wild, or whatever, with Jody Foster?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, joey Foster is a sex scene. I think we talked about this the last. Yeah, we did, yeah, we did, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:Like good for Jody, good for Jody Just doing her. No, I mean yeah it's.
Speaker 1:It's good, very good. True detective awesome season. Terrible finale ruined the whole fucking series, her season. So don't waste your time. It's like Dexter. No, I mean, dexter was terrible the whole fucking time. There's complete, that's a complete fucking difference. Yeah, but yeah, I mean also Al Pacino at the Oscars. You guys see this Al Pacino thing. Al Pacino walked up there, he's doing best picture and and he gets the. He walks up to the, to the podium or whatever it's like. I guess I'm I'm here to to do the best picture and, and I don't know why, I did a French accent All of a sudden as you do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is actually this is I told you, I actually have a good French accent.
Speaker 1:No, but but he it was out to you walks up there and and he's like, yeah, I'm here to do best picture and you know lots of good movies and, if my eyes are telling me right, oppenheimer. And everyone's like oh, oh, okay. And everyone's like oh, oh, okay, yeah. It's like when a when a kid falls down and you have to cheer because he fucked it up so bad he forgot to do all the nominees. It just announced the winner. It was amazing. It was absolutely it was amazing. Classic.
Speaker 3:Pacino, she just do whatever the fuck he wants. Man, al Pacino is just a real G.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's having the kid at 83. Yeah, he literally does whatever the fuck he wants on record still works, proven.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hammer still works, you know. So, like good for good for you know the godfather, good for Scarface, good for Carlitos way. Good for Al Pacino, still slang and wang at 83 years old buddy. Good for you Blue choose got to be his biggest sponsor at this point. Do you think he does any work? Do you think that he actually worked to have that kid or did he?
Speaker 1:He just Can't do anything. God 60 I got just I dread like I don't know what that looks like. Fucking look like when you're 60 so when?
Speaker 3:so when you hit 60, are you just sounding like Bree? Hey, listen for like last year for the first 40 years, I did all the work, or most of the work. It's now your turn for the next 15 years. While we do, what's happening there?
Speaker 1:I mean just can't be good. Good, I was sick, like you know what I'm trying to say about trying to be mean, but like I'm sure it's good in the moment for them at the time. But like as a 35 roll of my god, I'm like what is that?
Speaker 3:When, when you, when you said, what does that look like? All I pictured was Johnny Knoxville from jackass as the grandpa who's got the ball sack hanging out of his shorts and being like that's somebody's, that's someone's grandpa, that's someone's grandpa is doing all of that somewhere somehow.
Speaker 1:What ages it stopped at like. We stop at 70 like because you know the six-year-olds are still banging Dean's face White right now. But like is it, is it like I?
Speaker 2:don't have anything to add the conversation.
Speaker 3:If I told you that, like nursing home, std rate is like fairly high amongst its residents, they're just like bed hopping and like they're like as promiscuous as like young people are good. They just get outbreaks in these nursing homes where it's like what is happening and it's like, yeah, we're time, guy, but the but the best part about those is.
Speaker 1:There's probably one outside source that came in there, like that means one of these male nurses or female nurses are Slain and and bring it in anyways. Sorry, dean, that we had to go talk about 80 year old STDs and sexual activity, but just thought I have to make you at least off-kilter once.
Speaker 2:I Think that's. That's our show for today.
Speaker 1:All right music.
Speaker 3:Can you imagine being like the discharge nurse, being like sorry, you can't see your grandpa this week, why I'll like, cuz he's being tested for chlamydia again?
Speaker 1:again Third time. Jesus, I'm gonna sign off right now. It was nice talk to everyone. I see everyone.
Speaker 2:Bye.
Speaker 3:Good seeing you, boys. Can't wait to do it again with sports, more sports and less STDs for more people. See you later. Yeah, yeah, we got it open to. I am working like we possessed.
Speaker 1:Our scenario is utopia stay content with that, with a best kept secret. Go ahead and floor pasta. We don't need to get fucked you.